Just writing...

Hey guys...





Been a loooong time! :) haha





So, I don't have anything specific to write about, I just wanted to get on, start writing, and see what happens...haha


When I think of where I was last year at this time, and look at where I am now...man alive, lots of change...





For starters I was in NY...that's the most obvious change...but, the most change has been not obvious...I've learned what is important in life, who is important in life. I have learned that life isn't about school, or whatever...its about relationships. Ok, ok, i know that sounds terribly corny, but, it really is true. Since the move, I haven't really cared about school (altho its great!), or learning to drive (which i'm doing this summer!) or anything else...i have cared about making friends...and keeping in touch with my friends back east.





I am loving meeting all these new people, and getting to know my "old" friends better. There are definitely people from NY that I thought i knew so well, and would keep in touch with forever...and there are people that i thought, "well, it was nice knowing them, maybe i'll see them again someday, but, whatever." Its so odd. But, great all at once. I love the fact that in moving, I have built friendships...moving is such an odd thing. something that no one can understand unless they've done it. It's a time of change...bad, hard change...and AMAZING change...


gosh, i can already tell this is just so scattered, and for that i am so sorry!! :)


I've changed so much just as a person...I've never had stronger faith. I've never trusted God so much before. I was talking to a friend the other nite...we were talking about how neat it is in times of change, or transition, to look back, and see the faithfulness of God. Realizing that he has ALWAYS been there, is never changing, and knows exactly what we need, when we need it! And boy oh boy has that been true for this move. I look back thru this year, and even thru my HS years...to see how much i have grown and changed, and to see who and where i am now...God has been so AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL!


Ok, time to go wayyy back! when i look at myself freshman year...i was going thru something weird. I tried so many different "acts" and tried on so many "masks". I tried the numb-to-life-nothing-bothers-me act. I tried the everything-bothers-me-get-me-out-of-here act. I tried the I-don't-need-anyone-i-can-do-life-by-myself act. And of course the I-don't-need-God act. Life was so hard for me then. There was SOOO much junk in my life that I just needed to deal with. So much pain that I needed to release. And that whole year, I would sob to friends about how much I hated my life. I always talked about all that I was dealing with, and how much I wanted to get away from it all...I talked to the whole world it felt like...but, inever brought it to the One who can actually bring about change. hmmm...


10th grade...started out better...my attitude was chaning. It was 10th grade that I went to "counceling" I learned to talk about my pain and hurt that had built up...well, practically my whole life. My life has never been the same. I learned how to use my story to help others. I just felt good. But, still, never brought it to my God.


when we moved, I had no one to talk to. So, I was "forced" to bring it to God. This song sort of illustrates how I felt...i'll just put in the chorus. It's called "Bring it to You" by AVALON:


"I bring it to You
There's wonder in all that You do
I bring you the scraps that make up my soul
You make me whole
I'm gold..."


That's exactly what I have done this year. I've run to Him carrying the scraps of me...I've just brought myself to him, drawn close and let him just heal me. Has it been hard, YES! has it been painful...YES!! would I trade this year for an easier one...NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!! This year has been one of the best years of my life! And in it, I've met lots of new, wonderful people, and I've gotten to know people better. I have a friend who I have known my whole life...just now, since moving, am finally realy getting to know him. Its been so much fun! That wouldn't have happened had I not moved. God works in amazing ways!!!


well, scattered, not very exciting, and quite long...I think i'm done. :) now that school is done, I will try and get on more often and share!! I miss this!! :) I hope you all are doing well!! love you guys!!! prayers-