Untitled...

Ahhhhhhh...That is a sigh "Ahhhh" not a screaming "Ahhhhh"


It has been such a great weekend, and I still have 2 days left! WOOHOO!! Today, I babysat and went to watch the football game...we lost...bad! So, that was a bit dissappointing, but, the extra money in my wallet is wonderful!


Our company is still here and I am having such fun with all 3 of them. Last nite I talked to Gina for a while and it was just FUN! Lexi is so fun and crazy! She is starting to warm up to all of us, so, that is really really fun! And Emily...can you say CUTE! I have gotten to feed her and hold her for the past 2 nites which has been so fun! She fell asleep on me earlier...so precious!


So, I don't have all that much to blog about...I am just really enjoying the company and the knowledge that I don't have to go to school on Monday! How wonderful!


As I was walking with my babysitting kids today, I was just taking in my surroundings. I LOVE WEST POINT! It was a gloomy day, but, still just gorgeous. I am gonna miss this place! The football games, the people, the mountains...just awesome! So, I had a moment of moving jitters...just a moment. I am so excited to move...! LIKE SO excited!


Well, that is pretty much it. I am kind of tired, okay, really tired! I am getting ready to call it a nite! Oodles of love...


(Was that scatter brained or WHAT?)

Whooo! It has been too long!

Hello friends!


It sure has been a while. I have had SO SO SO SO SO much running thru my little head and heart lately. I don't know where to begin.


1. I finished the book "Authentic Beauty." A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I cannot tell you how awesome that book is. O MY GOLLY! It is one of those i-need-to-read-twice-to-get-it kind of books. So much to absorb. But, so awesome! If you haven't read it...READ IT! It will rock your socks off!


2. Clothes shopping. Many of you have probably heard my clothes sob story. It is impossible for me to find clothes these days. My gracious. It is not fun to realize that one cannot stay a size 2 forever. My 2 has now become a 6 in what seems like overnite! NOT COOL! So, that has been a frustration and let me tell you, "Beautiful" by Beth Dillon has been playing non stop. Not because I feel ugly, but, because it is a nice reminder that even tho my dream of being a size 2 forever will never be a reality, I am still GORGEOUS!! (and so humble too!)


3. I have really come to the point (almost) where I feel like I can be me without being concerned with what people think. Like, so what if people think I am a freak...I DON'T CARE! That is one freeing feeling. Being able to just be who you have been made to be...totally sweet! So, that has made life so much easier. I mean, I still wonder what people think. And at times it pulls me down, but, more and more, it is not as hard for me.


4. Thankfulness. I have never been good at letting people know how much they mean to me. So, I have really been working on that. And just thankfulness in general. I mean, I have SO MUCH to be thankful for, and instead, I still manage to find SOMETHING to complain about. LAME-O! Why not just be happy for what I do have. There are people with lives far worse then mine, and I am complaining. I am really working on that right now.


5. Enjoy. That is such a good word. I am really trying to enjoy. Enjoy life, silence, my family, my friends, school, time, Jesus...just enjoy. Too much I miss the good stuff. So much joy in life comes from the little things. And so much of the time, I overlook all of the little things. I am learning to just step back, or as the old saying goes, "Wake up and smell the roses (or coffee, whichever you prefer). "When I do that, it is amazing what can be learned!! It is so awesome!


Well, right now we have some friends staying with us...SUPER FUN! These guys (Gina, and her daughters Lexi and Emily) are some of the COOLEST people EVER! Her husband is deployed and so the are chillin with us for a few days! We are having a blast! Lexi is 3 and the funniest girl ever. And emily is just a few months old and is just ADORABLE! She is in that floppy stage and is just so fun to hold and play with! So, this is going to be a fun 3 day weekend!


Well, I am tired. Long week! But, luckily we have a 3 day weekend (Yom Kippor, baby!). So lots of time to relax!! Alrighty, I am going to wrap this up! Be strong, friends! Praying for you all! LOVE YOU GUYS! And if I haven't talked to you in a while....call or email!! MISS YOU GUYS!


...me...

Busy...or are we just lazy?

Hmmmmmmm...


Busy vs. Lazy.


How many of you reading this are busy people? I AM! Let me tell you about my day...a typical day in the life of me!


I wake up at 6:15 and leave for school at 7AM. I get home from school anytime between 2:15 and 3:15. I do homework. I eat. I Mon. Tues. Wed. and Thurs I have something every nite. Then I get home, try and squeeze in a quiet time, and then go to bed. I like to think that I am busy. I am. I do a lot. But, what I didn't put in my "day" was the time I spend on the computer writing this, reading email, checking different websites, reading other blogs. No TV tho, I am not a big TV watcher. Usually only Tuesdays...GILMORE GIRLS, BABY! But, usually, I don't even get to watch that. Because, I am busy. Or maybe I am lazy...?


Well, according to my day I am not lazy, I am busy! Right? Hmmmmm. Maybe I am not so busy, just lazy. Maybe we all are.


Usually if anything gets bumped from my day it is my time with Jesus. Do any of you fin yourself giving up the same thing? You know, if I am tired, I will just go to bed instead of reading my Bible. So, I decide I will do it in the morning. And when mom comes in 15 minutes earlier like I asked, well, I decide that 15 more minutes of sleep will be better, so, I will do it when I get home from school. I get home from school and decide that that evening will be better, and the cycle starts all over again. Am I busy, or just lazy.


I think that I just don't have the time to do what it is I want to do. LIke quite times, or prayer times or whatever. But, check out this excerpt from an AMAZING book I am reading. This is from "Authentic Beauty" by Leslie Ludy.


"Many of us frequently lament, 'I really wish I could, but I just don't have time to spend alone with Christ every day!' Yet even though we might be busy, a close look at our daily schedule might reveal that lack of discipline, not lack of opportunity, is actually what is keeping us from spending time alone with alone with our Prince. Being a hard-working type-A personality, I would never have thought the word laziness could apply to me. But i finally realized that it was laziness that kept me from developing the discipline of going to bed at a reasonable hour so that I could get up early enough to have a long, focused period of time with my Prince. It was laziness that kept me from truly learning how to study my Bible rather than just skim over a few proverbs in the morning. It was even laziness that kept me from pursuing deeper relationships with my family members. I had to learn to aggressively shake of fmy lazy habits and actively discipline my life around my true priority---intimacy with my Prince. Like training for the first time to get into excellent physical shape, gaining true discipline was often painful and uncomfortable. But eventually, focused discipline began to replace lazy habits. Every area of my lkife, especially my relationship with my Prince, was incredibly strengthened as a result. "


So, I know that was long, but, good, right? So, I think my problem is laziness. Instead of spending time with my Bible in front of me, it is the computer screen. Or maybe I could suffer an early morning, so that it may be spent with Him.


So, friends take a look at your schedule. Maybe we all can adjust a few things so that we can spend that time with Him. A friendship won't work with only a 15 minute phone call here and there, neither will a relationship with Christ. Take a look, mabe it is laziness, not busyness that robs us of our intimacy with Jesus...


Blessings...
...me...

Perseverance

per-se-ver-ance
[pur-suh-veer-uhns] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
2.Theology. continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.


So, there you have it. The definition of perseverance from Dictionary.com. Steady persistance. Now, that is not that big of a deal. It is easy to be persistant in school in a math class if math is the easy subject. But, that is only the beginning of the definition. When I kept reading, my smile turned upside-down. Yeah, go read the difintion. Steady persistence IN SPITE OF DIFFICULTIES, OBSTACLES, OR DISCOURAGEMENT. yeah, I don't really like that part either.


Sometimes, I wish life was easier. If things were up to me, school would start ata 10, not, 7:20. There would be no homework, I would always get A's because I was a genius and didn't have to work at school. Everyone was nice. You know, all the classic things people wish for. Sometimes, I get into that mindset. That everything is wonderful and happy (I like make-believe). That mindset doesn't last long. I soon come back to reality and realize that life isn't like that. Bummer.


LIFE IS HARD!


But, still we need to push forward. Check out Hebrews 12:1


Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.


Push everything out of you way and run with perseverance. Despite criticism and hardship and obstacles and discouragement.


"When you do hard things, people are going to critisize you." ~President Bush


But, surely, with God we can push past all that...right? Yes. But, is it easy. No. Keeping our goal in mind is hard. Especially when that goal is unseen right now. Remembering to wait until Heaven for our reward...HARD! But, we have been called to do that. And so many times we make excueses to get out of doing the hard stuff. Like, I will do it later...someone else can do it. Things like that. Now, check this out.


"And who am I, just a youth But why has that become the excuse..." "Revolutionaries" Bethany Dillon


Or, this quote, by my mother...


"Making excuses keeps us from doing what we are called to do."


How true are both of those things. I find myself daily passing up oppurtunities because I say I am too young or I make other lame excuses. Although, much of the time, it is fear. How many of you reading this have fear. I do. So much. I get afraid of what people will say. What if I mess up? What if I forget something, or don't have an answer to their questions...scary! But, friends, fear doesn nothing!!! IT ONLY HOLDS US BACK!


"'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everythingBut it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings...You make me wanna be brave..." "Brave" Nichole Nordeman


His love gives us strength and takes away fear. I wish I could get that thru my head! God is on our side. Man can do NOTHING!! Think about this...the creator of the UNIVERSE the almighty God, MY GOD is on my side. Who can harm me. So, I need to not be afraid.


So my friends, run this race with perseverance, don't make excuses, and fear not!!! Jesus is for you and loves you more than you know!! I need to remember that too! If only. We say that, but, without hardship, we couldn't have this amazing relationship with Christ. So, be thankful in the hardship and know that thru these storms, God is holding you close!! Much love and prayers...

Life...

I am learning SO much lately. About myself, about others, about God, about life, about love...the list goes on. I am learning. Want to know something that is hard for me? Of course you do. This may sound strange, but, here it goes...


Giving up.


Let it sink in. I have a hard time giving up.


Are you sure you got it? GIVING UP! That is hard for me.


If you didn't think I was strange, probably you think I am now.


I think giving up is so hard. I always want to be the best. Help people. Fix things. Change things. Do better. Learn more. Know everything. Be positive. Do everything. Understand everything. All that jazz.


I try so stinking hard to achieve all of that. I burn myself out trying. I try. Everyday I wake up and tell myself that even if I failed yesterday, I am going to try harder today. I just didn't do a good job yesterday, but, today, I will succeed. Trying harder is easy...for me at least. Guess where trying harder gets me. You guessed it, nowhere.


By trying harder, I only get nowhere. So, why not give up. No not, throw in the towel. Let God do it. More like...surrender. Maybe. Yes, surrender. "Less like breakdown, more like surrender..." (Sara Groves). How many of you are good at surrendering. That's right. Not one hand went up. Didn't think so. If I missed your hand, if you are good at surrendering, giving up, kudos to you. I am not good at that.


I always wanted to be the girl who could do it "all by myself." I didn't need mommy to tie my shoe. Or zipper my zipper, or button my buttons. I could do it. I was Miss Independent. The only time me and help colided, was when I helped someone else. Other than that...help wasn't something I wanted. I sure needed it, but, I never wanted it.


I haven't changed. I don't want to surrender. But, I need to. I need him. I need to stop trying and let HIM do the work. I need God to teach me. To help me. I need God to keep me positive and real. I need God to help me understand. I need God to give me words to help others, not use my own. I need God to change others for him. I need God to change lives. Not me. I need God to give me wisdom. So, therefore I need to give up. Not try harder. Give up. Maybe not give up. Give IT up. Whatever my "it" is at the time. GIVE IT UP!!! Lay it down. Let Jesus take over. I have so much to learn. I have learned so much. Surrender is not even it. I know this is scattered and wordy. But, I like to share. Not all of this even makes sense to me. But, it has just been stirring in me.


Life isn't about me. Maybe that is the bottom line. Maybe that is what I need to grasp. Nothing I do is about me...whoa. Let me take that in.


Jesus, give me a willing heart. Willing to surrender. Willing to learn. Willing to be taught. A willing heart. All that it entails.


Blessings...
...me...